Last week of the semester :)

This is the last week of the semester for me, one paper and three classes to go-yep I didn't get one done yet that I wanted to last week but it's okay, I have some great professors who understand we are not all paper writing machines. So I am at the end of the road for this semester almost :) I am looking forward to doing some reading, enjoying some snow, celebrating Christmas, writing, cooking, maybe putting a few hours in doing housekeeping on my campus to earn some much needed $$$, and watching my neglected movie collection for this break.

How is your week going so far?

some insights of being in the field

The topic of burnout was brought up in my mental health multidimensional assessment class last week. It was a very thought provoking discussion as many of my classmates shared that they had been experiencing the stresses of being in the field in one way or another-feeling exhausted after they left the office because of all the clients they had interacted with, having nightmares, always feeling like they need to be doing something and not being able to relax, or not being able to shut down well and fall asleep at night easily. My classmates were concerned that if they always felt that way, they would easily get burnt out. While some people can compartmentalize their experiences and feelings and leave experiences behind, others mull over experiences and this can affect them longer than necessary. My professor explained that we will be writing a paper next semester on burnout to learn more about this area but something he was taught by a former professor he had was that one needed to learn how to leave the job at the office or they would not be utilizing good self-care long term. His professor states that a good way to do this is to pick a street light or a sign or some other symbolic thing over the course of your drive where you can state that after that point you would not think about the stresses and details of your day at work and think about other things related to your personal life whether it be your family, friends, spirituality, or something you plan to do at home that is non-work related. I think this can be a good exercise to practice in my own life because I have the tendency to analyze things over and over, rather than just letting them go at times I should be relaxing and enjoying life. I am sure that there are more tools I will learn and use as I grow in the field but this is just one tip that I really found useful for my future as a social worker

Do you have anything that you do to debrief after a day in the field so you can relax outside of your professional life or advice for individuals new to the social work field?

Turning Lemons Into Lemonade

So my current goal is to make the most outta life even if I am not completely happy with the way things are. The last thing I want to be doing on a Sunday is sitting on my slowly widening behind all day and write papers---but in May when I get to walk across the stage to get my MSW, it will be worth it. I am very unhappy that I may be forced to have to do my internship all summer long :( but at least I don't have to wait until December to graduate. I have to look at the positive. I have to not worry about how the job market will look for social work positions for those with graduate degrees come summer or fall. I have to find the things to be thankful for even if I feel like all my friends have just walked away from me. I am thankful for:

♦ a boyfriend who supports me & takes care of things around the apartment &helps me out financially
♦ my family in Rhode Island that loves me a great deal more than I ever realized
♦ the understanding staff and professors at Roberts who are finally listening to who I am
♦ how God provides financially
♦ Ikea furniture which makes our dreadfully small apartment tolerable
♦ Wednesday dinners with my MSW girls
♦ encouraging blogs & bloggers
♦ Tim Horton's vanilla smoothies
♦ longs conversations with people I care about
♦ the beauty and memories captured by photos
♦ the fall sunshine

So these are my efforts to turn "lemon" moments into delicious "lemonade" reflections

May you find somethings to be thankful for in the midst of challenging times :)

The Unknown Path in the Journey

I am happy to be feeling better, I have needed the energy because I needed to facilitate a group for class this week as well as write two large papers. I have gotten through this week and come out alive :)

Not much has changed in regard to my internship situation. My field director has been unsuccessful in finding a placement for me as no agency wants a student mid-semester. This semester has really not turned out as I've hoped but what can I do-I just had to do something with my previous placement and before I knew it, it dissolved before me. I am praying that something will open up for the spring. I will only be taking four classes at 9 credits so I can handle heavy hours in a field placement if it happens. Although it's still iffy if that could happen. My final option is a summer placement-12-15 weeks....meaning there goes my summer and hopes and plans of moving outta this area :( and increasing my anxieties regarding finding a job. It's not just my own wants to be outta this area, it's the aspect that I finally have the opportunity to live near my biological family---an opportunity that has not been possible since I moved outta the area when I was twelve. So the future right now is in limbo. I am no longer losing sleep over it though because I did what I had to do and I have communicated what I want. I've advocated and now I have to wait.

I also had a conversation with my advisor over my inhibitions with participating in class. I stray away from the norm as a social worker in that I am introvert. While I love helping people, putting myself out there is hard. It's hard for me to speak up in classes, it's hard for me to form on the spot stories related to class materials, it's hard for me to feel confident academically and professionally and I constantly compare to other people and feel I come short when it comes to having the professional social worker status. I know that a lot of this is in my head and is not good for getting me anywhere good if I don't let it go and stop thinking so much about what others think. I want to do my best, I don't want to stand out as the one who never talks. I feel like I missed that stage of development of being involved in class because I was dealing with just trying to survive with my chaotic home life throughout my childhood and adolescence. So now I have to work harder. It's a lot to process sometimes and at the end of the day I am still exhausted even if I am not in a placement right now. But perhaps all this is happening for a reason. I have faith and hope that it will turn out for the best in the end.

the falling leaves...

Most of the leaves have fallen off the trees outside our apartment this past week. I was hoping to get out and enjoy a nice walk but have been sick with the flu for the past week and a half. Swine flu? Perhaps... this flu was pretty intense and all I could do was rest and stay in bed. Now I have meetings and emails to do regarding my internship and three papers that are demanding to be written. I am supposed to facilitate a group in class tomorrow and do an oral presentation for another class---and I am nowhere near prepared because I am just starting to feel better. So I am stressed and overwhelmed and don't know where to where to start. I keep on thinking about May and pray that I can get everything I need to done by then and have a better handle on the future. Hopefully a few things can sort themselves out this week and I can rest a bit easier. Until next time...

Thoughts on My Career Purpose

Yes, I am training to become a Christian Social Worker. I fully believe it is possible to be both. I am not one of those people who is going to snatch away children from the home-unless harm is coming upon the children. I am a mandatory reporter and it is one of the duties of my job. I follow the NASW Code of Ethics, respect the field of social work and also following the calling God has given me to help and show compassion upon the hurting sick and needy. I am not here to pass judgment, to hate others, to force people to change. I will however help people have access to the resources in their community to help them improve their lives. I will fight against injustice. I will not let the cruelty of the world turn me bitter, I will do what I can do be an example of Jesus and bring light and hope into the darkened parts of the world.

networking

I just found this website http://social-babble.com that is advertised as a new and noteworthy networking site where Social Workers meet!

Maybe this will be a great resource for some, including me :)

placement concerns

Much prayer needed regarding my internship placement and decisions that are needing to be made. It's outta my hands, Lord have Your way.

stress relief: five websites i like to browse

1. http://www.socialworkblogs.info/ - it's great to be able to find blogs and people who are going through/have gone through the same stuff I am going through in grad school getting my MSW.

2. amazon.com-not only is it a great resource for getting much cheaper textbooks, it's also a great place to pick up dvd's for cheap and whatever else i may like---if only shipping wasn't so much tho...

3. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/-my favorite site to go to after a baddd day (like this past Thursday after I got spoken to by my internship supervisor :(). It gives me so many ideas on what I would/wouldn't like for a wedding cake one day as well as giving me more than a few laughs.

4. http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/-Because we all know people like this exist out there :p Another good site for laughter therapy.

5. biblegateway.com-because sometimes God knows exactly what I need to read

What are your favorite sites that help you relax these days?

Cast all your cares upon God

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Phillippians 4:6 NIV) 

Not only do our clients have issues, but so do we. Practicing self-care is so important or else all the struggles we have had in the past can re-emerge. This past weekend I must confess I was struggling with feelings of inadequacy and overly anxious about my internship, assignments, and other expectations from my grad courses. Not only do we have to instill hope about others, we have to first make sure we have it within ourselves. No one likes a fraud, no one wants to be one either. So in being true to ourselves and others, we have to take care of ourselves and work through our bad days to bring on the good ones so we can be effective to others. We don't want to be burnt out, otherwise we will just be more miserable in our efforts to do our job and our true calling and passion will be lost. I know that all this is easier to say than to be done. For me to cope with my career, life, ect., it's a process of implementing positive things in my personal life over time that will bring joy and peace to my life. For example, instead of spending that extra hour before bed that I don't want to do homework, I may read a book that's not related to social work, watch one of my favorite movies, or like I have been doing recently, work on a puzzle. Even though I don't have much time to get my mind off things, these little things helps. I learned I have to make the time or else I will be unable to get a good night's sleep. Another thing that helps me is that while I am in the car, instead of tuning into the radio, I will put on Christian music like Misty Edwards, Jason Upton, Tim Hughes, Hillsong United, Tim Hughes, David Crowder Band, ect. This music gets my mind off the things of the world and onto focusing on God who has made all things possible for me. While I am traveling to or from classes and internship, this is a time I look forward to when I can get a break from the craziness of the world that faces me. So I hope that I can continue to do these things because once in awhile is not enough. Self-care is a lifestyle that I must continue to remind myself I need to practice for my own personal mental health.

getting there one day at a time

As I imagined, today was incredibly stressful. I got up on not enough hours of sleep, wrote a 4 pg paper then headed to class.

In class, which is group work, it was week 1 of learning about the different therapy's you can do out there with work. For the first part of the class we did cognitive behavioral therapy relaxation exercises. I can't believe I used to think breathing exercises were bull b/c I realized I needed to RELAX. The girl who facilitated today was amazing which talking to us soothingly and told us to relax our bodies muscle by muscle from head to toe (i realized how tense i was) then gave us a scenario to picture us on a magic carpet taking us five years into the future into a place hovering over our house and us peering inside from above. We were told to imagine what it would be like. I imagined being in a house near my grandparents farm with candles being lit and me just relaxing and reading a book with my boyfriend relaxing too. The atmosphere was warm, calm, and peaceful. It was a great exercise and gave me hope for what is to come.

The next part of the class was where we practiced client centered therapy where we wrote on a bag things that we perceived about ourselves then inside the bag was a piece of paper which we passed to around the circle where each person wrote what they thought of us, then when we were done we were asked to compare what we wrote about ourselves and what others wrote about us. Of course, I wrote I was quiet and so did everyone else. But then someone spoke up and said she said this was not a bad quality because I was not quick to speak. This showed strength and also exemplified that when I did speak my words were powerful which could be compared to the example of Jesus. That was truly an amazing thing to say---seriously.

That was the best therapy sessions I have gotten ever haha and it was done by other social work students like me. I think it just goes to show the power of caring and faith mixed together. AMAZING :)

Now I just need to hang in there till the end of the week.

Internship tomorrow which I need to go prepare for. I am meeting with my first two kids individually tomorrow. Also, I have to have my scrapbooking club objectives all together. Sooo much to do and sometimes I just don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone but I have to get through it all because it will just make me stronger in the end.

Hard to believe I am gonna be 24 in four days, I am so blessed that I will be spending it with my real family.

Debriefing is Necessary

Yesterday was the first day of my elementary school social work internship in an urban atmosphere. Although the anticipation of the first day caused me some anxiety, once I got there, the day went fairly smoothly. I got assigned three clients which i will initially observe and then meet with individually to counsel. I also was involved in two groups yesterday: one that dealt with working with kids on basic social skills like taking turns and not interrupting others and another group that worked with kids who have an autism spectrum DSM diagnosis. Eventually I will be doing my own groups, including facilitating a group that will be a photography/scrapbooking therapeutic group which is very exciting considering I doing both! My supervisor is awesome as well, very sweet and understanding and very willing to get me involved with kids and learning social work tools and experience that is a key to my learning process. She wants me to create a grief therapy guide for counseling children individually who have gone through the loss of a loved one that will cover 8-10 sessions. This is relevant to me because of my own personal losses and because I feel there is a greater need for social workers to be trained and aware of interventions to help children who are dealing with the issue of loss in their lives.

I feel things in my life have picked up speed drastically in the past week. I realize if I don't write things down in my planner, I forget them. I am already struggling with keeping up with readings from courses again so hopefully I find a way to fit them all in and simply not forget about them because I am too tired. I am sure I will get a better handle of things in a few weeks once I get more used to being at my present internship. It just takes time.

I am also very thankful to have my boyfriend. As I go through this program, I realize the importance of having someone you can debrief with at the end of the day (My supervisor says she plans to discuss how things went after each day I am at my placement so we can reflect on the day which is also great). I can talk to him about my apprehensions, my high and low points of my day, and just get the feedback that I am doing something great and receive the awareness that I am being supported through my social work education journey. I am happy to not that I am not alone and have someone in my life who will advocate for me to pursue the job I want once I am given the opportunity, even if it may mean leaving the Rochester area.

I truly see God's hand in this journey everyday and I am thankful at the end of the day for each opportunity to help others, including when a little girl who was in a group yesterday said she was happy because I was a new friend who wanted to help her be happy. :)

Looking Forward/Remembering to Remember

I got the internship for a school social worker position! I will be working with a bilingual social worker who was very nice and helpful. Most importantly, she seems very skilled and competent in what she does so I have a feeling I am going to be very busy and will learn a lot this year.

________________________________________________________________________________

Of course, like millions of others out there, I can't help but remember that today is 9/11. For me, 2001 was one of the most challenging, life-changing years of my life. Though my personal losses happened well before 9/11/2001 came, I too could relate to the pain of losing a loved. Life can never be the same after you have lost someone whom you have loved and who has loved you. Eight years after I lost my father and my brother, I still am healing, as I believe that those who lost their loved ones on 9/11 are still healing. So today I pray for peace for those going dealing with the memories of loss all over again because grief is something that one is constantly working.

A Promising Evening

So after sitting in tonight's Mental Health Theories class and watching Obama's Healthcare reform speech and hearing the hopeful news of better healthcare for the millions of people in this country who need it (including myself!), I returned home to find positive news regarding my personal/professional life. After trying unsuccessfully to complete the application requirements and trying to contact the agency that seemingly had been forced upon me for my final internship placement for this year, I got fed up and no longer wanted to try to compromise for an agency I have heard just bad news about. So I email the field placement director of my school and told him that I would like to hear of other options if they were available because I had no luck with my current efforts to start my internship. I know I am a week or two behind as we speak from my peers and told him I realized I needed a placement immediately. He first emailed me back to say that he would speak to the lady I was trying to contact. However, he then emailed me back saying that there was an elementary school social work internship position so I emailed back him saying that I would be all over that position and he replied with the social workers contact information. I am extremely excited and will be contacting who will hopefully be my future supervisor tomorrow. I understand I still probably need to do a formal interview and what not but I am praying truly that this is the position meant for me and that all my apprehensions about my former internship possibility were there for a reason. I have been seriously considering looking into school social work lately just because I think it will provide me with more opportunity to do faith based counseling on the side with summers, weekends, and evenings free. I am still young and don't have a family yet so this makes it more possible to perhaps pursue this dream. However, I will not get my hopes up---we'll see what tomorrow holds. I hope all who are reading are having a blessed week! Take care!

a life of purpose and meaning

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." (Tuesdays With Morrie, p.43)


This is just one of the many reasons I am pursuing my higher education in Social Work at Roberts. If I can do my part to help others discover or renew their purpose and meaning, I will find joy in my labors. If I can help people find hope to go on in life, I will be thankful for the opportunity to bring light to an individuals situation. I think it is sad that we live in a world where many people take life for granted, where people walk by each other lonely, and where people fill their life with things to take away the pain instead of finding true love in the goodness of something or someone. I pray that I don't lose my vision for purpose and meaning in this life. Ever.

First Day of My Last Year Of Grad School

Unless I decide to get my PhD in like twenty years, haha, this will be my last first day of school. I can't say I will miss the first day feeling. I am very nervous, even though the last time I was in a classroom was a month and a half ago since I took two summer classes throughout May, June, and July. I hate the whole introduction thing that most professors do...I know it's to break the ice but most of the time I really have to think to say something about myself. I know I still really need to work on participation in classes-I should not get all worked up about it but it still happens. I have always been shy but as I got older, I realized it formed more into anxiety---making me feel sick to my stomach at times. So I am fighting to get over this once and for all. I want to be the best social worker I can and social workers are supposed to be people persons anyways so I better get there :). I think this year is going to stretch me a lot further than last year but in the end I know it will teach me even more to take charge of things in my professional life to gain the tools I need for my future.

Today I start classes. I still need to figure out a few things before I can start my internship which is bugging me but it will be straightened out soon. My classes go as follows: Group Work on Mondays starting at three and then Applied Research six-thirty to eight or Field Instruction every other Monday. Wednesday I have Mental Health Multidimentional Assessment and Mental Health Theory from three to nine. Saturdays for the next five weeks I will be taking Death and Bereavement which I am both interested in and apprehensive about since I have had so much traumatic life experiences throughout my childhood and adolescence. I will be writing in depth about those experiences which will be both easy because I have so much first-hand experience and hard because I will have to relive some of the memories as I process everything. But I know that this self-awareness will just provide further healing and growth in end so I will get through it okay. I also will have to facilitate some sort of group through my internship so that will be another area which will stretch me this fall.

All this is not in vain though, I am following my dreams to help others and make a difference in life. I am ready as I can be for what is to come.

Stolen Quote of the Day

Therapy is heart surgery without anesthesia - Dr. Jill Corrigan

some thoughts

Sometimes I wish...
I had a million bucks.

Sometimes I miss...
the dish network i had in my first apt.


I never miss...
living in a dorm by myself.

I never wish...
evil upon anyone.

I don't understand...
how people can be so selfish & hateful.

I'd like to understand...
my "family" better.

I will never understand...
why some people walk away from friendships so easily.

I have always understood...
that life is short.

My best feature is...
physically, I'd say my hair. Personality-wise, I'd say my ability to listen and be supportive.

My worst feature is...
physically, I choose not to go there because it's not worth getting fixated on the outside these days. Personality-wise, my reluctance in opening up to others (especially when in groups).

When I look at myself, I think...
about the fact that I have went a lot farther in life than I ever could've realized 10 years ago.

Other people see me as...
it depends on the person, but I hope it's a positive response.

If I could look like someone else, I would look like...
no one. I am content with who God made me.

My personality, in three words, is...
a hidden extrovert.

If I were a color, I'd be...
bright colors-pink, turquoise, lime green, yellow, orange. I like to have fun and these colors reflect that I believe.

If I were a character in a book, I'd be...
Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

If I were a character in a film, I'd be...
Peyton from One Tree Hill.

I can relate to...
other Christians who've been through storms and made it out stronger and closer to God.

My friends are...
few but valuable to me.

My family is... 
to me my grandparents, aunt and uncle...the other part is something I have yet to figure out :/.

I smile when...
I am with those I love.

I cry when...
I'm frustrated.

I laugh when...
something gives me reason to find joy and humor and I am happy.

I get angry when...
things build up and I am stressed.

My biggest pet peeve is...
selfishness.

The best emotional feeling in the world is...
knowing that you are loved unconditionally.

The best physical feeling in the world is...
falling asleep next to the one you love.

Happiness comes in the form of...
1st) Jesus 2)being with those you love and who love you back

Solace comes in the form of...
Jesus, music, worship, prayer, writing, being outside.

My priorities in life are...
Jesus, family, grad school, friends, mis. responsibilities.

When I'm older, I would like...
to own a house, write a book, and travel for missions.

Before I die, I would like...
to help many live better lives & know Jesus more.

I'm afraid of...
not being able to pursue my passions & losing touch with those I love.

I try hard to...
love like Jesus did.

I can't ever seem to...
stop worrying about the little things these days.

I have a talent for...
scrapbooking.

My dream is to...
be in full-time missions work as an international social worker.

My childhood was...
too-little, too-fast. You grow up fast & not always best without a mother.

My future looks...
bright & I feel blessed.

When I am sad I...
cry, think, write, pray.

When I am afraid I...
pray.

When I am angry I...
crank music and need a few minutes to recover.

When I am complimented I...
say thank you and the thought may stick with me for awhile :).

When I am nervous I...
most likely am in the position where I have to speak in front of a group in my grad classes.

When I am lonely I...
go for a drive or watch a good movie to get my mind off of it.

I have never...
been to Florida.

I would never...
do drugs.

I'd rather die than...
denounce my relationship with Christ.

I would like very much to...
get married when I graduate with my MSW.

My closest friend is...
my boyfriend, he's cared for me more lately than anyone else in my life.

My hero is...
Jesus.

Growing up, I...
learned about loss and love early in life.

My relationships have been...
not always positive, but have shaped me into the stronger, wiser person I am today.

The most important wardrobe staple is...
a good pair of jeans. :D

Everyone should know that...
i would do whatever i could to help a friend who is in need

The best piece of advice I could give is...
treasure your time with those you love, you never know when they can be taken away.

I think the world would be a better place if...
everybody loved just a little more.

If I had one wish, I would wish for...
humbleness for all people.

When it comes to politics I...
used to not care but now want to fight for social justice for the oppressed and hurting.

When I am bored, I like to...
browse xanga, cook, scrapbook, watch a movie.

When I need to relax, I like to...
take a shower, talk to my boyfriend, listen to good worship music.

I can't stand it when people...
put their values in material objects/superficial people.

I love it when people...
are real.

I think the most important thing in life is...
taking responsibility for your actions.

At night, I often dream about...
the past-good and bad.

My bad habits are...
those things which I would like to have hoped I have gotten past.

In all honesty, I really think...
few people know who I really am these days.

I always avoid...
conflict. Well not always, but I tend to.

I get excited when...
a semester is over.

My hometown is...
where I happen to be residing currently. I've moved so much, it's simpler that way.

My weaknesses are ...
those things which take me away from Christ.

My strengths are...
those things I do and the trait I hold that glorify Christ.

My name is...
Sarah Florida.

I am...
a social worker in training.

I leave saying...
make the most of what you have.

more pre-semester thoughts.

So grad school starts up again in approximately five days for me-I am 2 semesters away from having my Masters in Social Work. It's hard to believe sometimes but then I realize where I have come from and realize this is God's intended journey for me indeed. I am excited to be able to help people in need with the professional skills, knowledge, and networks available to assist me in doing so. I can't help but be stressed thinking about it as I will be taking six classes this semester along with a 16-20 hr a week internship. I am going to have to manage my time carefully! But I don't have much of a social life anymore so I think I will be able to manage somehow and I really, really, really want my degree in my hand come May 08, 2010 so it will ALL be worth it. I am praying for God for peace of mind as I deal with financial and time obligations and having a positive support system to help me through. Being a social worker starts with taking care of yourself first so that is something I continue to strive for throughout this educational experience that demands much out of me. The hard work will pay off in the end :) I am just happy my time under the restrictions of an educational institution will soon be coming to an end! I am so thankful for getting so far! There will be a big celebration on my part come May for sure! :)

ramblings of a social work student (previously posted on my xanga)

I have been finding some really interesting blogs to read on http://www.socialworkblogs.info/ regarding social workers direct experience with their training and work in the field...sorry xanga, I just really want to get a feel for what people are encountering as social workers since I have not been doing any field experience in the last few months due to summer. I still love xanga but when it comes down to it, this place is more of the time more of an an entertainment source than a professional resource. so of course it looks like I will be bouncing between the sites as I am interesting in both writing outlets. Anyways, as I read peoples own stories of working with clients, I wonder: will I be a good social worker, will I have the confidence, or the right words to say, the knowledge on hand to diagnose people who need mental health assistance. Concurrently, I realize I should not let my own insecurities hold me from helping people-after all there is no greater desire I have than to help the poor, sick, needy, and hurting. I know that this is indeed social work indeed is the field God has called me to for such a time as this.... I just have to go forth and do it! Experience and confidence will come with the training and application of the skills I pick up. I am coming to realize that additional blogging about my experiences may also be another wonderful tool in my continued learning process to help me reflect on what I have encountered and piece it better together to help me grow as a social worker. I know that I am not the same from all the social work skills I have accumulated in the year since I have entered the social work field and in another year, I will definately go even further. I am praying that I maintain humbleness in it all as I act in kindness and service to clients in need. I am also seeking a job at the end of this that will give me further purpose as a result of my training as an Master's level Social Worker. Through I am leaning more towards heading back to my roots in New England, who knows if the Lord will have me stay put here in Rochester. He holds the pen, not I and I give Him the pen as I continue this journey.


(for more of my previous posts go here