Thursday, April 29, 2010

The End of The Beginning of Something Wonderful

Wow...yes, wow!

Yesterday was my last grad class...though I still have a field sem class for my internship this summer, this is technically the last class of my graduate school career. I don't have to pound out papers anymore, I don't have to wonder how I am going to get done all the work, I don't have to stress about school. It's just about over. Yesterday, we talked about termination. We talked about our experience in grad school-and I got really, really sad. Maybe it is because this semester has been so painful, not in terms of school but in terms of life. Here are these wonderful people I met and shared many classes with. People that were so different from me, yet have shared my passion for helping people. And now we are all going our separate ways. Maybe because so many people have come and gone so frequently in my life that makes this ending harder. I know I need to work on being able to end things better. For now, writing is how I cope though. It's easier for me to write when the emotions are strong. It's easier to project my true feelings through writing because as I showed yesterday, orally I can only say so much. There is so much I left out when I spoke in class that I wanted to say about this whole experience, but oh well, I will continue to write about it to process it and maybe that will help.

I can really say that I didn't know much of who I was when I started the program, and I still feel that way every now and then, but what I do know now is that now I have a purpose in my life at this time and that is to be a social worker. I know that this is the profession for me. I know that I understand pain and I understand that there can be healing and I know that people need support and as a social worker I help to empower people who have had rough times. I hope to use the tools I have gained to reach people and touch them, if only for a short period of time with the compassion that is innate in me. I know I will see horrible things in this field, I know people will let me down but it is the positive stories I will cling to. It is the people who willingly accept the help and want to change that will bring me joy. I will be looking for little things everyday to keep my passion for the field going. I take time outside of my career to enjoy life-to restore community with my biological family and build relationships with new friends. Most importantly, I will look to God and the example of Jesus to renew and continually inspire me.

On a side note, now that I am done with all those papers, I am sitting here thinking I am not being productive enough. Haha! I need to relax and enjoy this moment...and sleep-I am very exhausted from all that driving!

In just a little over a week, the celebration of this accomplishment will come, then I will revisit these emotions all over again and most likely, you will hear about them :D.

It's been a long road but I made it!

In just a short time I will be able to put MSW to this name of mine...yay!

Life is complicated, but it is beautiful.